Having Fun in Hell
by RedEyedWarrior
Summary: President Snow is killed by Cato's crazy father and is now serving a lifetime in Hell. In this story, his punishments will be outlined. Alternate Universe fic. Rated for cursing and swearing.


**This is my first story for **_**Hunger Games**_**. I've read the first book, watched the movie last Saturday and I am currently reading the second book. Since President Snow is a douche bag, I just could not resist writing this lengthy one-shot. So enjoy!**

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><p>Having Fun in Hell<p>

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><p>President Coriolanus Snow was lying in his bed, sound asleep, sucking his thumb and clutching his teddy bear. He loves that teddy bear. In his opinion, it is the best guardian and dildo in all of Panem.<p>

Suddenly, there was a loud crash, which awoke the president. He was livid. He grabbed a shotgun from underneath his pillow and exclaimed: "WHO GOES THERE! SHOW YOURSELF IF YOU ARE SO BRAVE ENOUGH THAT YOU CAN WAKE UP THE PRESIDENT!"

Cato's father emerged from President Snow's closet, which was full of dead gigolos covered in blood and cum. He was even more pissed than President Snow.

"My boy, Cato, should've won, you bollocks!" whined Cato's dad, as if he had no balls. "But no, you wouldn't bother your arse to have the Gamemakers kill off Katniss and Peeta! Sure, that would be biased, BUT I DON'T FUCKING CARE BECAUSE MY CATO SHOULD'VE WON!"

"I plan to kill Katniss!" President Snow retorted. "Is that good enough for ya? By the way, I could have you killed for breaking and entering my room, ya little shit!"

"Well not if I kill you first!" Cato's dad cackled as he unveiled a sword and sliced President Snow's head off with it. Once President Coriolanus Snow was no longer the president of Panem, Cato's father inserted and sword into his heart and killed himself.

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><p>Both Coriolanus Snow and Cato's father went to Hell, but because Cato's dad was still griping about his son not winning, he was sent to Limbo until the final judgement. Snow was shocked that all this 'theology crap' was true.<p>

"Well, well, well, if it ain't the man himself, President Coriolanus Snow," mocked a girl who turned out to be Katniss's sister, Primrose Everdeen. She, accompanied by her father, Rue, Thresh and Foxface, among others, were angels paying Hell a visit. "Oh wait," jeered Prim, "you're **not** the president anymore, am I right?"

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me, you little bitch!" huffed Snow, sarcastically.

"You're welcome!" smiled Prim. This blatantly annoyed Snow.

"And what did you bastards go to Hell for?" demanded Snow. "Being rebellious I bet?"

"No, we're just visiting!" replied Mr Everdeen. "We wanted to witness your return to where you're from!"

"But you went to Hell for a fuck load of reasons!" Thresh added.

"And what are they?" screamed Snow.

"Let's see," said Rue, unrolling her list. "Ah yes, treating every one besides yourself like shit, forcing twenty-four random teenagers to kill each other bar one every year, prostituting the victor tributes, being a douche bag...the list goes on."

Coriolanus Snow rolled his eyes indifferently. Sure, his crimes were beyond evil, but he did not think that there would be karma. He never believed in an afterlife anyway, prior to his death. All he cared about was himself and his teddy bear, which he left behind. Other than that last one, the former presidents has no other regrets.

"Whatever, I don't care, just get out of my life already!" he moaned.

Foxface laughed malevolently. "Sorry, but we're not going anywhere until we have laid out **all** of the punishments you will endure over the next century," she cackled. "First up, you must watch each and every episode of _Jersey Shore_, _EastEnders_ and _Tallafornia_ that has ever been made."

"Next, you must listen to _Lipstick_ by Jedward on loop for six months straight," cackled Rue.

"Then you will be forced to read every single book and watch every single movie of the _Twilight_ series," cackled Thresh.

"When you have all of that done, you must eat every single piece of crap that was taken on Planet Earth since the very first organism took the very first shit to the last time you defecated," cackled Mr Everdeen.

"And last but **certainly** not least," cackled Prim, "once all of that is finished, you will be spending the rest of those tedious one hundred years locked in a chamber full of mentally disturbed Yaoi fan girls!"

Snow gasped in utter terror upon hearing the news. Rue created a vortex to Heaven and jumped in, followed by Foxface, Thresh and Mr Everdeen. Prim is the last to jump in, but before she does, she turns to Mr Snow and jeers: "Oh, and have in Hell!"

"HEY, FUCK YOU!" yelled Coriolanus Snow, but Prim had already jumped in the vortex. Snow is now alone, awaiting his fate. Satan shows up, pushing a cart containing layers upon layers of Blu-ray discs that play each and every episode of _Jersey Shore_, _EastEnders_ and _Tallafornia_.

"Ready for your doom?" sneered Satan.

President Coriolanus Snow let out a shrivelled, distressed scream that echoed about the entire depths of Hell. He was really starting to believe in karma. Well, it sucks to be him.

The end

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><p><strong>So what did you think of it? Let me know in your reviews. I hoped you guys enjoyed it, though, since President Snow has finally received his just deserts.<strong>

**For those of you who don't know, **_**Tallafornia**_** is the Irish equivalent to **_**Jersey Shore**_**. That means us Irish people have to put up with two crappy shows like **_**Jersey Shore**_**, while the rest of the world just have **_**Jersey Shore**_** to have sleepless nights over. **_**EastEnders**_** is a British soap my parents love to watch. Honestly, what the fuck do they see in this crap? All I see is some depressing fictional district within London about a couple of hundred emos fighting and having rows over adultery, Islam, homosexuality, child custody, murders, drugs and all other kinds of shit. I've never seen **_**Jersey Shore **_**or **_**Tallafornia**_** before, but I heard they were meant to be crap. I also hate _Twilight_, and even though I have nothing against _Jedward_, their song Lipstick is not the type of song you would want to listen to.**

**Anyway, I thought the film adaption to **_**Hunger Games**_** was the best I've ever seen yet. I hated how Rue was killed, but otherwise the movie was awesome and I give it a big fat ten out of ten. Unfortunately, I heard that the sequel, **_**Catching Fire**_** may not be released until November 2013 – according to Wikipedia anyway. But I'll wait. It is an awesome movie and I would definitely recommend that you all see it.**

**HAPPY HUNGER GAMES, EVERYONE, AND MAY THE ODDS OF THE **_**HUNGER GAMES**_** FANDOM BECOMING THE BIGGEST IN THE BOOK SECTION EVER BE IN OUR FAVOUR!**


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